Singleness is Not a Sickness

“My entire life can be described in one sentence:  It didn’t go as planned, and that’s ok.”

Somewhere along the way, being a single got a bad rep.  It’s a relationship status that makes most single people cringe.  Especially at the thought of attending family events, weddings, holidays or social gatherings alone.  It depresses you.  It’s what consumes your thoughts.  Does he notice me?  How can I get him to ask me out?  Will I ever find the right person? You’re single & you don’t think you’re gonna be happy until you’re not.  

While I know that singleness isn’t something that anyone necessarily desires, I believe it is one of the most important seasons you’ll go through.  It has the potential to be a valuable part of your life & should be viewed as a gift.   

I remember being in high school & having my life all planned out.  Married by 21 and 5 kids by 30. You’ve heard the phrase, “God has a sense of humor.” Well in that case, it was me. I find it really funny to think that as a high school girl, my goals in life were to get married & have kids.  I’m not at all saying those are not wonderful experiences that I can’t wait for, but why didn’t I set my eyes on more than that?  Why did I think my life would be made once that happened?

I’m 35 years old & I’m single.  Or as most would say, still single.  I’ve dated a lot, but I’ve never been engaged or married.  My sisters & my brother are married with children.  I’ve watched friends date, marry & have kids.  I’ve watched girls I coached in high school or mentored in student ministry get married.  I’ve attended & thrown about a hundred wedding & baby showers.  I’ve witnessed & stood in numerous beautiful weddings.  

I’ve been able to share in some of the most special moments in a person’s life.  Listened to the awkward first date stories that turned into proposals & walks down the aisle. Listened to the heartbeats of my nieces & nephews on sonograms that turned into the sounds of life entering this world for the first time.  

I’ve watched family & friends go through all the stages in life that singles long for.  The moments I can’t wait for, hope for & dream of.

And I’ve enjoyed every single bit of them.  

I chose to enjoy them.  I choose to make the most of every moment.  I choose to find the JOY in every little thing I get to be a part of.  

I tell you all that to say this, if anyone knows what it’s like to be single, it’s me.  I know what it feels like to watch your friends & family whiz right past you into dating, marriage & families.  I know the doubts that creep into your mind.  I know the worry that arises. I know what it means to have to wait & wait & wait.  

I don’t compare my life to anyone else’s.  I don’t worry about my future.  I don’t doubt that God has a perfect plan.  And I’m definitely not sitting around waiting for Mr. Right to come along.

The enemy will try to attack our thoughts.  He’ll get us to a point that causes us to doubt God.  He’ll get us thinking there’s something wrong with us & for that very reason, we’re single.  He wants us to spend all of our emotions & thoughts on how sad our lives are without a significant other to share everything with.  Sometimes we even tell ourselves that we’re still single because we haven’t done A,B, or C but if we can check those things off, then maybe, just maybe, God will bring that person into our life.  

False.

Singles have got to stop dwelling on being single & start dwelling on the Word. Singleness does not define you.  The fact that you aren’t dating or don’t have a boyfriend can’t be your focus. You are so much more than than a relationship status.  

I get asked all the time: "How are you still ok with being single? It seems so easy for you!" Maybe this will help you understand & come to the same place...I really hope it does!

Ways to make the most of your singleness:

Seek Him first

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

There’s a song by Elevation Worship called First & Only and there’s a line in there that has  turned into a prayer of mine.  “Be my heart’s obsession.  First and only in my life.  In Your love alone, my soul be satisfied.”

This is a time in life when we actually have time.  A time when decisions being made now, are decisions that are shaping our destiny. It’s a time to really seek after the Lord. God’s Word will transform us into the person we need to become. While we are waiting, God is working on us.

Trust His Plan

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.  Luke 1:45

Change Your Focus

Isaiah 55:9 tells us, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways.  And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

His ways are always higher.  His plans are always good.  They’re perfect.  Stop focusing on being single.  God has so much more in store for you.

Get a Vision

When there’s no vision, the people get out of control, but whoever obeys instruction is happy. Proverbs 29:18

There is a lot of freedom in being single.  What is it that you want to do in life?  What goals do you have?  How are you working towards them?

Something important I’ve learned in life is that you have to have vision.  You have to have a clear vision of the kind of life you want. When you don’t have a clear vision, you’ll make mistakes.  

Have fun

Make lots of friends, go traveling, accomplish your goals, start something new. Be a blessing in someone else’s life. Make a difference. Ask the Lord you use you. Pray, “Lord, help me fulfill my purpose today.”

God has great things in store for us & He wants to use us.  We won’t be single forever but let’s live it up while we can!  Make the most of it!

I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord. Be strong & let your heart take courage. Psalm 27:13-14

A Healthier YOU

Hey y'all, below are some tips on getting fit & staying in shape!  But just so you know, I am not a health expert nor did I become certified or take classes on anything. I am only offering tips & helpful suggestions based off of my own experiences. If you're already a beast & look like a fitness model, then please don't read this. Haha!  If you're looking to get in shape, I hope this helps!

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Do not compare yourself to anyone else. 
I repeat, do not compare yourself to anyone else. There will always be someone stronger, faster, or in better shape.  That does not mean that you're too weak, too slow or too out of shape to do anything.  Go for your best. Don't go to the gym & look over at good ol' Martha lifting 150 pounds in a strict press & think to yourself, wow I'll never be able to do that, maybe I should just quit now. But first, let me take a selfie & post it so everyone knows I'm here.  No, no, no.  What you should be thinking, and what I think is, I know I will never be the girl who lifts that much weight & quite frankly, I don't want to lift that much.  My back hurts just thinking about it.  When you compare yourself to other people, you'll feel inadequate. You'll get discouraged, and you'll quit.  Just like the saying goes, "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle."  When I accepted that, I was able to focus on getting to MY best.  Not someone else's best.  Are there people I know who can out lift and outrun me? Yes.  Do I let that discourage me?  No. Because they'll even tell you, it took them months or even years to get there.

Have a goal in mind. 
Set some personal goals.  Evaluate where you're starting out & ask yourself where you want to be & when you want to get there.  I always have to work towards something specific so I keep moving forward.  When it comes to fitness, my goal is to get stronger.  I know where I'm starting out, and I know where I'd like to be.  Some examples of your goals can look like: working out X times a week, running/walking X miles without stopping, or lifting X pounds more.  Another personal goal I have is doing a strict pull-up without band assistance.  Did you catch that?  A strict pull-up. As in, 1.  To me, that would be a great accomplishment, because right now, I need those bands.  I'd also really love to do a hand stand.

Push yourself. 
During my work outs, I push myself.  I get to the point where it's almost too difficult for me to keep going, and push past that.  Whether that's with weights or cardio, I make sure that it's a little bit of a struggle to keep going.  I always tell friends, even if you are 1 second faster than last time, you're better than before.  Even if you ran 1 minute longer than last time without stopping, you're better than before.  Always push yourself in your workouts so you make it worth your time & effort. 

Have good eating habits.
Now, as we all know, eating habits are the most important.  And it's also one of the biggest struggles in life.  Because let's face it, we all love eating because we love food! It's a fun social thing to enjoy. My weakness is Mexican food, specifically, queso.  Especially Torchy's!!! However, I know I shouldn't eat queso all the time.  Eating right not only plays into your fitness results, it also effects your energy levels.  Are you always tired? Do you feel like you are struggling hard during your workouts? Your diet plays into that. Having good eating habits doesn't mean you diet for a week & then stop.  It's a lifestyle.  You choose to make it a way of life.  You need to find what works best for you so that you can stick to it.  Personally, I eat healthy & clean Monday - Friday and then I eat whatever I want on the weekends.  If there's a special occasion or I'm visiting family, I make exceptions.  This has worked so well for me for a long, long time.  It's become a habit & it's something I can stick to.  I actually enjoy eating healthy!  And before you roll your eyes too hard at that, let me tell you, there was a time I ate like a 9 year-old kid whose parents were out of town.  About 8 or 9 years ago, I used to eat bags of Cheetos and M&Ms for meals.  I ate bean & cheese tacos like it was my job.  I loved to drink sodas & days would go by without even a sip of water.   Y'all, if I can change my eating habits, so can you!

Be consistent.
Consistency is key.  I've seen too many people start something & give up all too soon.  Sometimes it's because they went too extreme in their change of diet.  Either they eliminated way too many things at once, or they didn't get the results they wanted right away, so they gave up.  Mind you, a week is not long enough to give something a try.  Give it a good 3 weeks before you decide it doesn't work for you.  I've seen people switch from Paleo, to Whole 30, to counting macros all within weeks of each other.  Seriously, you have to be consistent if you wanna see results.  I've told people before, if you struggle with diets, eliminate things a little at a time.  Maybe the first week you stop eating those Cheetos every day, and the second week you decide to also take away the M&M's. Do what works for you as long as you stick to it.  And as far as the workouts go, don't go all out hardcore the first week so much so that you burn yourself out & give up the next.  Start slow & work your way up.

Drink lots of water & take your vitamins. 
Water is SUPER important.  Drinking enough water can help you burn fat and increase your energy levels.  I try to drink about 3 quarts a day.  But I'd say aim for at least 2 quarts a day.  Also vitamins are important.  Although you shouldn't rely on your nutrients soley from vitamins, they do help.  I like to take Omega-3's, Probiotics, and multi-vitamins.  I also take Hair, Skin, & Nails vitamins, if I'm being completely honest, but that's not necessary (except that my skin is amazing because of them). Haha!

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All this being said, I think the biggest thing to remember is that you want to get to the best YOU that you can be.  For the record, being skinny shouldn't be your goal.  There are plenty of skinny girls out there who just have freakish metabolisms but eat junk & aren't active. That's not healthy. Get to a healthier version of yourself.  It's so important to stay active & eat right.  It's not always easy, but it is always worth it & you will always feel better about yourself.  And please, please remember, that it does not happen over night.  It takes time & it takes effort.  You'll get where you want to be if you put the work in.

I hope this helps in some way!  Summer is a great time to start working towards those fitness goals.  There are so many ways to stay active & so many refreshing things you can eat to stay cool!  Speaking of, here are two of my current favorite refreshing drinks.  Flat Tummy Detox Water & a Strawberry Dreamsicle Protein Smoothie.  (Click the links for the recipes.)

Thanks for stopping by!

xoxox,
Vanessa

Flat Tummy Detox Water

So easy & so refreshing, this is one of my favorites!  Make a pitcher of this & drink a large glass every day.  Or as I like to do, I drink a few small glasses throughout the day.  Whatever the case, try to be finished with it within 4 days.

3 qts water
3 small lemons sliced
1 seedless cucumber sliced
3 tsps grated ginger
14 mint leaves

Put all that in a pitcher and let it soak over night.  Begin drinking the next day!  I like to add ice to mine to make it extra cold & refreshing. 

Strawberry Dreamsicle Protein Smoothie

This is one of my favorite smoothies right now!  There's something about the citrus taste that makes it so refreshing.  Especially after a workout! It is super easy & takes no time at all.

1 scoop dreamsicle protein powder
1 cup frozen strawberries
2 cups organic orange juice

Blend & enjoy!

Get Ready for Summer!

Ok so Callie & I are back at it again!  We started going to one of our school district's tracks again to run bleachers & laps.  We came up with a workout you can do whether you're at home, in a gym or at the track.  The only equipment needed is a jump rope.  If you don't have a jump rope, try doing jumping jacks instead!

If you're doing the workout in a gym or at home, use the treadmill to hit your 400m runs!  Or if you need to run outside, use a gps tracker device to clock your run.  I like to use the Nike app because it tells you how far & how fast you're running.  Keep a consistent pace as best as possible.

The goal with this workout is to switch up the movements throughout the duration so make sure to keep the order we suggest.  I know it would be ideal to run at the beginning or end of the workout, but trust us, it's best to split it up because it will burn more calories.

And just think, by the time you're done with your 3 rounds, you will have ran 1200 meters & completed 30 burpees, 150 jump ropes & 30 air squats!  Time yourself to see how fast you can do all 3 rounds & try to beat your time each time you do this workout. Even if it's 1 second faster, that counts! :)

If you want to challenge yourself, you can always add more reps to the jump ropes, burpees, or squats in between your runs.

So grab a workout partner & get going! Summer is just around the corner & you don't wanna wish you had started sooner. Let me know what types of fitness things you're interested in because Callie & I would love to create videos you can actually use & benefit from! Is there a certain type of health food? Target area you'd like to work? A certain workout you're looking for to do at home? Feel free to email or comment!

Click here to view the video! 



xoxox,
Vanessa

You Get What You Pay For

Last Thursday night I went to the rodeo with my friends Sarah & Jen.

We planned on meeting at "park & ride" at 6:00 pm but I was still driving back from being in San Antonio with my family for Spring Break at 4:30 pm.  I kinda started to panic about time so I did that thing where you plan your outfit in your mind so that all you have to do when you get home is change & freshen up your makeup.  Once I got home, I had to unload my car.  It was loaded down with what I had originally taken to SA plus about four Target bags of unnecessary (but super cute) purchases. I knew I was on a time crunch & I have this unspoken rule that I will only make ONE trip no matter how many bags & things I have to juggle. My suitcase may have fallen over a few times & I may have lost circulation in my left arm, but I got it all in one trip! Side note: Sometimes when I get home from the store & my arms are loaded down with grocery bags, I just tell myself to think of it as a WOD (workout of the day) & I can't stop.  It actually works, you should try it!

Multi-tasking gets the best of me sometimes & I caught myself brushing my teeth while unpacking. I'm a little bit OCD so it was really, really, REALLY hard for me to drop my bags without unpacking anything.  Needless to say I made pretty good time but I had to throw my hair up into a messy bun.  Jen sent me this & I had to laugh!

 

Jen was trying to tell me she was the girl on the right & I was the girl on the left. Riiiiiight. If only we could all look like the girl on the left when it comes to messy buns! Made me laugh though that's for sure.

As I was driving to meet the girls, I was sent to about three different parking locations because Sarah & Jen decided that our first couple of options were not safe.  I was glad they were a little ahead of me so they could scope out the parking situation & make sure we parked somewhere safe & sound. I mean, that's what one could assume would be the outcome.  However, the parking location of choice was free.  Free. Aka enter at your own risk.  I pulled in & saw Jen waving happily to me to go park by her & Sarah, who was also smiling happily.  Did they see where we were? Where were we? Did we cross the border? Our dads would not be ok with this. I decided to do a quick, but super authoritative prayer before I got out of the car all the while nonchalantly smiling at the girls like everything was just so super. ;)

We made our way across the street (we were by a Jack in the Box if that also tells you something) to ride this thing called a Rail. It was like bus on a track.  And of course, we were one stop away from being the furthest from the rodeo.  Free parking though, right?!  The rail is an experience all on its own.  So much people watching, you can't help but stare.

Fast forward through the fried food goodness, the crowds, the rodeo, the awkward selfies I saw being taken that were too numerous to count & the concert, it was time to head back to the cars. I couldn't stop thinking about not wanting to go back to that parking lot.  If y'all could've seen how sketchy.  When we began our commute back to our cars, I literally almost asked about 3 policemen standing around if they would escort us to our cars. I even searched through my purse while we were on the rail for something that could look like a weapon & found some lip gloss that would potentially look pretty dangerous. (I was desperate.)

I made the girls discuss a quick plan of action for when we reached our stop: rush to our cars, get Jen's niece in first, then the stroller, then run to our respective vehicles & leave!

Oh, I forgot to mention that Jen's niece was with us!  Jen pushed a stroller the entire time.  Which, I'm not sure if anyone has ever had a stroller at the rodeo, but you get all kinds of special treatments with that thing.  It felt like Titanic with the "woman & children first" privilege.  I might take one with me next year just for that!

Anyway, back to the plan of action.  Sarah knew she was going straight for her car asap.  She suggested we all press our panic buttons & have our alarms go off when we arrived to our cars to scare anyone away.  I'm laughing about it now, but it seemed pretty logical at the time.  We didn't do it.

To speed this long rambling story up, since I know you are all on the edge of your seats, we got off the rail & immediately rushed to the cars across the street, past the Jack in the Crack and a few groups of people just chillin on the sidewalk.  I grabbed Jen's niece's backpack & put her in the car while Jen got the stroller in. Then we all made a mad dash for our cars pressing the lock buttons right away. But wouldn't ya know, I still had the dang back pack in my hand.  Haha! Figures. Who cares, we were in our cars safe & sound!

That night saved us each $20 in parking & made for one of the most memorable rodeo experiences to date.  I'm sure I'm being a little dramatic, but it was real y'all.  We legitimately parked in the ghetto.

I will gladly pay for everyone to park next time.  :)

Selfless Love

"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them & was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15

I have been reading a book by Tim Keller called "The Meaning of Marriage."  You don't have to be married to read it (obviously).  Actually, I think you should read it before you get married & then again while you are married.  Anyway, I just read a section in the book on selfishness that I think we can relate to married or not.

According to Keller, 2 Corinthians 5:15 says the essence of sin is living for ourselves, rather than for God and the people around us.  Jesus can sum up the entire will of God for our lives in the two greatest commandments: to love & live for God rather than ourselves and to love and put the needs of others ahead of our own. (Matthew 22:37-40)

We live in a world that makes it so easy for us to be self-centered.  It's an all about me mentality. How are you going to help me?  I think we can go a long time and not even stop once to think about anyone other than ourselves.  I don't wanna be like that.  I don't wanna be that person.  Or that friend. Or that sister. And no one wants to be around that person. 

Something I have learned when it comes to doing things for others is that there's nothing that negates an act of kindness or thoughtfulness quicker than when you feel the other person expects something in return.  Can't we help others without expecting anything in return? No one should keep tabs of all the stuff they do for others.  Just be kind for the sake of being kind.  That's when Christ's love shines through us!

It's all about being intentional.  Making a conscious decision & effort to change.  To put the needs of others ahead of our own.  To live a selfless life.  Not thinking less of yourself or more of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.  It means taking your mind off of yourself & realizing that in Christ your needs are going to be met & you will have all that you need anyway.  I think when we look at it this way, we have nothing to lose! 

This is something that I will challenge myself with going forward & I hope it encourages you to do the same.  There are so many opportunities for us to show selfless love toward others & we will see them when we look for them. 


xoxox,
Vanessa